Well, I had a majorly shitty week last week. My ex-husband and I got into a fight because he told me he was going to sell his van and leave the state to look for work. He already owes around $900 in child support so basically I felt he was abandoning his daughter. Of course he turned it all around to where it was just me accusing him of abandoning his daughter and how I'm not a good mom, etc. Then I got into it with my daughter. I made her go camping with me for a couple of nights and she layed into me because she didn't want to go. She let me know how crappy a mom I was and how it was all my fault that we don't have our own home, etc. Of course it never entered her mind that the reason we lost the home we had in the first place is because her dad quit his job and I lost almost $400 a month in child support. But oh well. So all that weighed heavy on me. Then I was speaking to the guy I considered my best friend yesterday. He said a few things that hurt my feelings, more than a little. I emailed him to let him know how it felt. He basically went ballistic, accused me of abandoning him, I was the one who was hurting him (but I bet I was the only one crying) and basically he let me know I had no place in his life anymore. This isn't the first time he's done something like this to me. In fact, it's about the third time this year. So I don't know if I'll be here when he comes back this time. It's kind of like when you have a rock in your shoe. If you leave it there it hurts more and more over time and can end up causing real damage. I love him very much. I love his sense of humor, I love his intellect. I love the way he kind of stutters when he's been drinking. I love him for who he is, not who he could be or might have been. But it seems to me that he sometimes says or does things to deliberately hurt me. I don't understand why he does this stuff. So I'm thinking maybe I need to keep the rocks out of my shoe, no matter how much I might want to keep them.