Still at mom's house. I'm exhausted from being so sick. I haven't puked this much in years. I have held down some chicken fried rice so this is very good. Maybe I'm done puking. I began puking yesterday afternoon and I puked my guts up. It was painful. I got sick on Tuesday. Didn't begin puking till I last night. Dad got me a new laptop tho so it's helping me thru this. I'm in the process of pulling parts from my old one and I'll sell those on eBay to start paying dad back. Gonna have to find some static bags tho....

I am watching some weird tv show about people who won the lotto and the fabulous things they have bought. I used to fantasize about what I would do if I won the lottery. I don't even think about it anymore. I have pretty much gotten used to the idea that I'm the kind of person who doesn't have luck if it's not bad luck. I could be wrong. It just seems that like when I'm down and really need a boost I get a kick instead. When I was younger, it was a dream of mine to own my own house. I wanted my own place, where I could make the rules, paint the walls blue or walk around naked if I wanted. I paid on my home for 7 years and when I lost it it was so devastating for me. I've never felt like I've had much security in my life. When I left the house for the last time, I was sick. I couldn't go back in it or I walnut survive. I had to throw away and leave behind so many things that it still is making me upset. Unless you have lost something that major it's something you won't understand and I hope you never have to. Right now, if I could win the lotto, I wouldn't even need a big one. A paltry $150,000 would be fine for me. I'm not greedy. That would pretty much settle all my debts and give me an opportunity to get back on my feet. The most important part is that it would allow me to have Nina living with me again.

Well, the motherboard on my laptop fried. That means no more late night updates from the campground for a while. :P My dad is helping me buy another, but the problem there is that I use a Verizon pcmcia card to access the internet from remote areas. All the reasonably priced new laptops don't have pcmcia slots they now have expresscard slots. Do I need to mention that there is no adapter to make a pcmcia card work in an expresscard slot? I did find a USB adapter that will work with the verizon card that's gonna run around $200. :P And did I say :P !!!???

http://apnews.excite.com/article/20061018/D8KQUA580.html
One creepy dude. I bet the Lone Gunmen could have cracked his code. I hope they end up frying him anyway. People like that should simply be removed from the gene pool. The herd needs thinning. We have way too many wackos out there at this point. Problem is that if I do the thinning, I'm one of the wackos too.

Well. I spent all afternoon with Nina. She's feeling much better but her infection is still bad. I am not quite as worried about it but I am still worried. I came back out to the camper thinking I'd have a nice, quiet evening. WRONG. It's been raining all day here and now tonight it's raining and windy. The whole camper is rocking. It's kind of creepy. I hope it doesn't end up making me sick. I get horrible motion sickness. Maybe I ought to turn on the electric blanket and curl up with the dog and cat and just go to sleep. Even they are kind of freaked about the weather. The wind is really blowing hard.

Woohoo!!! Back in my own bed. I will sleep tonight. I am still worried about Nina's infection tho. Very worried. Until it shows some improvement I'll be very worried. If it's not looking better tomorrow, I might take her back to the doc on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I've been working on some new jewelry (I make jewelry- http://www.koolpages.com/reddish68/index.htm ) and I've been having a hard time concentrating on it. My mind has been jumping around like a grasshopper. I can't focus. I do have A.D.D. but I am medicated for it. I think the additional stress is messing me up. :P I think if I had somebody who could market my stuff for me it would help my brain.

Urg. Not seeming to get sleepy tonight despite my meds, although I am spending the night at my parent's house and I forgot to bring my Benadryl. I remembered everything else but forgot that. :P When I can't sleep I end up with a thousand things running thru my brain. Good things, bad things, confusing things.... I have some friends who want me to live in their farmhouse this winter and help them rig up solar and wind power for it. I am torn. I would like to do it but with my physical limitations I am hesitant. I don't want to let the guys down but it would be a good thing for me, let me put back some money and get the camper fixed up a bit better than it is. Plus, I'm worried about Nina. I am not sure she would be ok without me, even for a just 3 months. Not that mom and dad wouldn't take care of her, but let's be honest, nobody replaces mom. The thought of not being here for her in case she needs me bothers me. It might be different if her dad cared about her enough to visit with her, or even pay child support regularly. Her dad quitting his job is why we lost our house. And right now it's like I have to babysit him to make sure he actually keeps working so he will fork over child support. It's insane. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier on me to bang my head against a concrete wall. Might be less painful in the long run.

Right now I'm allowing my daughter Nina to play with my hair. She's 12. And goth. But she is having a lot of fun making my long hair into banana curls. I had to take her to the doc on Friday. She had this spot that my mom felt looked like a spider bite. It hurt and this started on Tuesday. By Friday it was a big huge knot under her skin, red and hot so definitely infected. They put her on some heavy duty antibiotics and she's been resting quite a bit yesterday and today. If it's not better by Wednesday, I'm going to take her back out to the doc.