People

I really don't understand people in general. Why do people stab each other in the backs? Why do they get petty and mean over practically nothing? Why do religious people feel the need to push their beliefs on others? One would think that being human I'd have some clue as to why these behaviors are so rampant. I don't. And when somebody continually uses me and I get tired of it and say something then I'M the bad guy, not them. Pathetic. That's my huge weakness. I am nice to people and will try to help somebody in dire straits. But I help people and they seem to need more and more and more from me and let's face it, I only have so much time, energy and money to give. I'm living below the poverty level as it is with my income. What's worst is when it's a person you thinks is a friend that sucks the life out of you. I see it as the ultimate betrayal. When you go out of your way to help somebody out of genuine friendship and caring and they just walk away if you need them. I need to find a cave and become a hermit. A hermit with internet access. Lol.

Star Wars The Force Is Strong With This One by greatwallsoffire

Star Wars The Force Is Strong With This One by greatwallsoffire



I might have to get this for my daughter's boyfriend for Christmas.  He's a Star Wars guy and she's a Star Trek girl yet they manage to live together without bloodshed.  It's kind of amazing. #starwars

If you have ever wanted to create your own t-shirts for sale, try out Zazzle. They have plenty of options and a nice royalty program.

Eagles

Saw these guys the other day while out riding around by the Big Muddy River with my friend Kelly.

Rant

This post is a rant. Continue reading at your own risk. I made this friend who was a friend of a friend about three years ago. It was a nice casual friendship at first, but as time went on it became tedious. More and more was asked of me. I never asked for anything in return. NEVER. I like helping people, but there's a limit. Never abuse the kindness of others. This included tutoring her child. I had three days to get her child familiar enough with the alphabet to write her name so she could enter kindergarten. Ok. I used to be a certified teacher's assistant. I did it. The next year the child wasn't doing well in math. I tried tutoring her again towards the end of the school year. This kid hated math more than anything. She would guess at answers, not even try to figure out the problem. She wouldn't sit still or pay attention. I suggested that we try it over at my house. Different environment and all the child's toys aren't there. Sure. Except mom couldn't ever find the time to drop by after school so this could be done. Ok whatever. In February I got myself ordained as a Dudeist Priest. Cost me $25. I did this because the woman in question couldn't find a Catholic priest to marry her anywhere other than in the church itself. She wanted the wedding and reception to be at the same place. Ok, no problem. Then I spent the time and effort designing the graphics for her wedding invitations. Which she wanted done in February. So I bought ink for my printer. Only it took until late June before she had decided what she wanted on the inside of the invitations. So basically by the time I printed up all the invitations, I had used over $80 in ink. And stuffed the envelopes for her too. She said she would see if she could come up with some money to defray my costs. She didn't. I'm on a fixed income so that was $80 out of my pocket. In July by daughter's boyfriend got laid off. My parents and I helped them out with rent money so they wouldn't lose their apartment. In late July this woman tells me she's expecting me to be at her bridal shower, which basically consisted of a party bus taking anyone who showed up to go see strippers in St Louis. I told her I didn't know if I was going to have the money and explained why. She wasn't happy about it. In August I had to help them out further, giving them over half of my income for the month so they could keep their apartment. Thankfully he was called back around the second week of August. But out of the money I had left I had to get a dress, shoes, and some makeup so I could be presentable for the wedding. So basically another $100, which I could not afford. But I managed to do it. Up until about two weeks before the ceremony this woman had been calling me every night to whine and complain about none of her bridesmaids helping with the wedding, her fiancee, her mother, her daughter's school, her relatives, her fiancee's relatives, etc. You name it, from usually around 10:30 pm until midnight I sat and listened to her complain about all this. I'm not a therapist. She needs one badly. So after not hearing from her for at least a week she wants me to come over there to discuss the ceremony. Instead I emailed her what I had written. When me, her and her fiancee had originally talked about it, the ceremony was going to be 15 to 20 minutes long. Short and sweet. She emailed back a two page long ceremony with guest speakers inserted in three places. I have degenerative arthritis. The first thought in my mind is "How the hell does she expect me to stand and read all this?" The second was "Why am I looking at a Catholic wedding mass when there's not going to be a Catholic priest there?" So I didn't say anything about it but at this point I was pretty disgusted with her. On that Wednesday before the wedding (scheduled for Saturday) she texts me asking how I liked it. I'm a straightforward person. I don't sugar coat things. Which is one of the qualities she said she liked about me. Turns out she didn't. I texted back to her that I hated it, it was a Catholic wedding mass without a Priest but that I'd say the words and sign the papers anyway. So fast forward to Friday night about 10:30 pm. I send her a text asking if someone could bring my singing bowl to the venue so I could take it home after the Ceremony. She had borrowed my Tibetan Singing Bowl months before and it had been just sitting gathering dust on her bookcase. She texted back that nobody would have the time to bring it over to me at home because they would all be too busy. I replied back that as far as I knew I was still performing the ceremony and I just wanted somebody to bring it with them. At that point, after rehearsing her "ceremony" all week (and I HATE public speaking), I was informed that my services weren't needed she found somebody else and that next time she was in my town (the same one her daughter goes to school in) she would bring my bowl over. Needless to say I had to make an obnoxious post on Facebook about people who don't return things they said they would being thieves before I got my bowl back. She posted this whole long sob story about how horrible and stressful her life has been and basically, just one more time, EVERYTHING was about her. She didn't acknowledge that what she did to me wasn't right, she tried to say she still cared about me and had sent me texts about the bowl which she hadn't and basically accused me of spreading rumors about her. Then she blocked me. I am resentful about the time and energy I invested in the friendship and the money I spent on HER wedding and then wasn't even welcome to be there. I acknowledge that everyone has problems. She is one of those that HER problems are always worse than anyone else's. The sad part is that she's so self involved that she has no idea of what other people are really going through. People she claims to care about. I feel sorry for her that she has attracted so much bad karma to herself over this wedding. I also feel sorry about the fact that she's not getting the mental health help that she needs. I'm going to be hurt and angry about all this for a while but I had to get it off my chest. I've only talked to my parents, my therapist and two friends about it. I'm not a person to spread rumors. I haven't made a public posting about all of this except for now. I am hoping this outpouring will allow me to just let it all go.