I am not sure why but I find myself sitting here very depressed. Just all the sudden I'm horribly depressed. I don't know what triggered it. I think it's a combination of things. I think part of it is Sophie. I remember how hard it was giving Blair up and now I know Sophie is going to a new family. Plus, I always wanted to have another baby. I had planned to have another after Nina. That was back when I thought I had a family. Before my ex-husband flaked out. In a way I wish I still had faith in men. I don't but I wish I did. I have never had a man close to me that didn't end up bailing out on me when I needed him. I don't trust them. When a man offers to help me out I always wonder what's in it for him and if I can trust him. I wonder how long he will help me before he bails out on me. And the part that really sucks is that I can't even support myself and my daughter at this point. It's upsetting. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. It would probably help me a lot if I had somebody to hold me occasionally, but I am alone. I will remain alone.

Here she is! The beautiful, the wonderful, the absolute best in the whole world, baby Sophie! (Cue the fanfare!!) I have to say that even though I don't feel like I'm old enough to be a grandma, I am awfully proud of Blair. She produced one beautiful baby. I got to spend all afternoon with her, holding her, feeding her, and loving on her. And I even changed a diaper. Nina fell in love with her too. I have a pic of Nina holding her posted on my account at http://12of8.deviantart.com.

WOOHOO!!!! The baby is finally here. Blair gave birth to Sophie Marie at 6:38 pm today. She is 7 lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long. We were beginning to get concerned and they were talking c-section. Thank god she was spared that. So even though it means I'm officially a grandma, I'm glad the baby has arrived. I'll have pictures to post tomorrow!

YAY!!! The doctors finally decided to induce my daughter's labor tomorrow morning. (That's Tuesday for all you who weren't paying attention). As of tomorrow, she will have been in labor a week. Not hard labor, but labor none the less. Plus, she's got pre-eclampsia. Her protein count went from 298 to 323 (over 300 is considered bad). So, she's to get pitosin (I think I spelled that right) tomorrow morning. Might be tomorrow evening before she has the baby. But at least I know that Blair and the baby will be ok. It might be slightly early for the baby, but nothing that can't be dealt with. I really need to get some sleep but I'm kind of wired. I'm just so glad everything is going to be ok tho. :)