On the plus side I think I've got all the drafts in this place taken care of. the wonders of DUCK TAPE. And yes, I used DUCK tape, not DUCT tape. I bought it at Wal Mart, lol. On the minus side I'm getting sick. Nina and mom have had this cough and felt horrible for weeks now. Well, I'm finally getting it. :P I've been coughing all day and when I get a little bit of whatever it is up it tastes gross. I'm assuming it's mucus of some sort. I'm gonna go to bed soon. I got some NyQuil so it might be tomorrow afternoon before I'm conscious again. ;)

I meant to mention this before and forgot. Being a poor person sucks. You know this and I do too. So I signed on to Google AdSense. They place these ads at the top of the page and you can make money on click thrus. You can go to https://www.google.com/adsense/ and sign up if you would like to have ads that can generate revenue on your page too.

Ok. My cat is trying to lay on my hands. She is being a nuisance and wants all of my attention. Right now. No typing. It's annoying. I love her anyway tho. Her name is Meow. I think I mentioned before I thought she kind of resembles a gray alien in the face.

Anyway, on with my tale this evening. My dad handed me a box of old mason jars that had marbles in them. He had bought this box back in either the late 80's or early 90's (he's not sure) at an auction. Since I'm poor, he told me I ought to try and sell them on ebay. So I began my research. I find identifying marbles a bit confusing and there's TONS of marbles out there made by different companies that look nearly identical. But. I am making headway. And I positively identified a bunch of Vitro Agate All Reds. Yep, that's what they are called. So I am making some progress. None are worth a fortune or anything. Nothing really special in the bunch. But I am really growing fond of the marbles. I'm wondering if I'll be able to sell them when the time comes. I guess we will see.

Well, here I sit at the Truck Stop in Marion, IL. It's right of Rt. 57. Can't miss it. They have pretty decent food. I'm waiting on a friend. We are gonna grab a bite to eat and then I'm going to show her where I'm living right now. The middle of nowhere that is. She works all the time so I hardly ever get to see her. Which is a bummer. But, whatever makes her happy. I just hope all this working won't burn her out. I am thinking I want some pancakes and scrambled eggs. They serve breakfast 24/7 here so I think that's what I'll have. I'm not functional early enough in the day to actually go to a normal place that serves breakfast during breakfast hours. That's the effects of insomnia and the drugs they give me to help with it. At least the meds help me get some good REM sleep.

I was reading an article about some tension in Virginia. Apparently some of the black congressmen think that the government of Virginia should apologize to the black citizens for the whole slavery thing. The furor came about because a white congressman said there's no point because it all happened a long time ago and there are no slaves or slave owners still living. I can see merit to both sides of the argument. Now this will seem like a digression but I assure you it has a point. When my parents moved our family to southern Illinois back in 1979, they put me in a Catholic grade school. No biggie. I'd been in a Catholic school in Missouri. This one was different tho. I was almost immediately ostracized by my classmates and for almost 2 years I had two people who would talk to me. Yeah. In the whole school I had two people who would talk to me without calling me a name. I got called fat, stupid, idiot, goon, ugly, basically anything but by my name. If I managed to make it thu lunch without having food thrown in my hair it was a small victory. Think about this. I went for two years with having two "friends" at school. I count one as a friend, the other as a guy who would talk to me. This began in 5th grade. I have to say that this has messed me up. I have forgotten a lot of it. Not deliberately, but I think because it was all so painful. Kids shouldn't begin wanting to kill themselves at 10 years old. After a while, you do begin to believe what people say to you. It's horrible. I've been told by people that I should let all this go, just forget about it and get on with my life. I have gotten on with my life, but I can't forget the pain. I would love to, really I would. I would like to erase it from my life. I can't. Would apologies help? Not really. I'm 38, going to be 39 in a couple of months. So why would an apology from the government of Virginia to blacks, who hadn't ever been slaves or endured what their ancestors did, make any difference? Maybe I'm missing something here. I do realize that not everyone internalizes their pain and is unable to let go of it like me, but I do kind of fail to see how an apology would do anything. I'm not saying I don't think that the government needs to apologize, I just don't see that it would really do any good. Just like the federal government needs to make broad apologies to the Native Americans. It needs to be done, but really isn't going to fix anything at this point. I don't know what the solution is, I just know an apology isn't it.

Ok, got another response to my email to 21361@21361.com. They say that Henry Rollins myspace pages are http://myspace.com/henryrollins and http://myspace.com/henryrollinshow . So, don't bother with the last link I posted. Go to one of these and BE HENRY'S FRIEND. It's imperative. Henry Rollins is my hero and both my daughters think I ought to marry him. My brother thinks so too. Since I don't know him this is quite impossible, but it does show how much we all revere Henry. So run, don't walk!! Go be Henry's friend today. Right now. Five minutes ago!!!

Ok, I was over on myspace.com looking for people I used to know when it occurred to me to check and see if Henry Rollins had a page. I mean Margaret Cho has one. Weird Al has one. So I thought I'd take a peek since Henry Rollins is one of my heroes. Well, lots of stuff came up but I found one that seemed like it might be legit. http://www.myspace.com/henryrollinsmusic So, since I wanted to figure out if this was actually a page for Henry I emailed 21361@21361.com which is his company's email. I got this response:

hi. I know that we have set up some kind of myspace thing in an
effort to get people to come to my site but i have never been on
myspace actually. In any case, thanks for the kind words and I ohope this finds you well. Henry

I was stunned. I really believe Henry Rollins wrote that to me. Ok, so maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but it makes me feel all warm inside to think he took the trouble to write back to me. Everyone ought to go check out his myspace page and his homepage at http://21361.com

I forgot to mention that I had been pondering the idea of whether or not a person could live in a moble home and eat enough beans to produce enough gas that if a match was struck it would blow up the mobile home. Prolly not but it would make a funny bit in a movie...

I have, after long hours of deliberation, decided it's in my best interest to stay single for at least the next few years, if not the rest of my life. If you are thinking this sounds drastic, it's not really. The thing is that at this stage in my life I don't really trust men. Every time I get screwed over anymore, it's by a man. I dunno. Maybe I'm too trusting. I just know that I don't want to be in a relationship. Period. It's going to be easier on my emotional state if I don't have a relationship to deal with. I admit that I will miss having somebody to share things with, but in the long run I think for my sanity it's best.