I am tired. I've tried to help Marc. So far it's failed. They have him so screwed up by changing his meds around that he doesn't even know what day it is and he thinks they are holding him longer because I'm advocating for him. It's crazy. He was a fairly stable kid when he went in. Now, I dunno. I'm worried. He won't even call Equip for Equality because he thinks if he does then they will keep him even longer. I would say he's drowning in paranoia. I've never seen him this messed up. I don't know what to do anymore.

Ok, I have reread my account of what's been happening here with my friend Marc, and I found it somewhat incoherent. Here is a summary (with real names replaced to protect those who might be guilty...) of all of it in a somewhat more coherent arrangement.

I basically exploded with anger. I didn't scream or threaten to kill anyone though. Suffice it to say it's been a long week. Marc is still in the hospital and our efforts to get him out have come to nothing so far. He is currently incarcerated in the Clyde L. Choate Mental Health facility in Anna, IL. The problems started last Friday morning, September 28th. When Marc was admitted there, he requested the forms to sign himself out. He was denied this request by staff. From what we understand, he was voluntarily admitted there, so for them to deny him the paperwork constitutes a violation of his rights. The main problem at first seemed to center around the fact that they have 5 working days to let him go once he requests to leave. It's the law. So originally the earliest he could get out would be tomorrow, Wednesday, October 9, 2007. (Yeah, I know, it’s more than 5 days but they are working days and Monday was Columbus Day.) Marc lied to get inpatient so Blair would go in and get help. She refused to go inpatient unless he was with her. It backfired on him and now he's stuck in the hospital and Blair is at her parent's house. Apparently his vivid imagination and years of watching horror movies and playing D&D have sharpened his imagination to the point where the things he said he wanted to do to kill me were so graphic that it scared the people there. The problem is that I could do the same thing. I love horror movies and have done costumes and makeup for my daughter for years. It’s very easy. I have been reading sci fi and fantasy for years and also played D&D. I have an exceptional imagination. To continue, on Tuesday, October 2, I got a call from his case manager. “Kate” (who at no time identified herself as his case manager, I only found this out later) and I were discussing the written and signed statements made by me and Kelly (Marc’s mother). We had written these statements out longhand while we were visiting Marc on Sunday, September 30th. (Marc tried to get Blair into a mental hospital so she can get the help she needs for the depression and lying. Pathological lying. Instead he ended up inpatient and she got discharged. Basically cause she lied to the intake people.) “Kate” and I talked to about it on the phone and she seemed to be talking down to me like I was stupid, or one of the patients there. I wasn't really angry until that. I told her that she could warn staff that a large angry woman would be down to see Marc and I did expect to talk to somebody about all this. Of course, she didn’t take accurate notes and took it down that a large angry woman was coming down to take Marc home. This I didn’t find out until later either. At one point I told “Kate” that I would do whatever it takes to get Marc out of there. She jumped right on that and asked if I was going to break him out. I actually sputtered into the phone. Most people don't make the mistake of assuming I'm stupid. In fact, I informed her that I was not only not stupid but I was also not one of the patients. I NEVER stated I was going to break Marc out. When I came to visit on Wednesday, they got a security guard to wand me. The ONLY time I've been wanded since I've been visiting. I made the comment that they must have been warned I was going to be there. They flat out lied to my face and claimed they ALWAYS do that to visitors. Nice treatment of the public, eh? Then, during our visit, Marc told me he was told by staff (whose names he can't remember because they have changed all his meds and he's walking around in a somewhat incoherent fog) that I was making matters worse for him by making threats and it was going to end up prolonging his stay. I was furious. I had made phone calls all day Tuesday and Wednesday, trying to talk to somebody to get this kid out. Nobody wanted to return my call until Thursday afternoon. “Kate” called back (she is apparently on Marc's treatment team), and I told her about the problems and inconsistencies. That's when I found out she can't take notes and had turned my statement about a large angry woman coming down into me coming to break Marc out. Makes you wonder how these people graduate college, doesn't it? So, then about an hour or so after I get a call from “Kate”, I get a call back from the Administrator's office. I had left messages with everyone and finally was getting some returned calls. I discussed the intimidation (because of my so called "threat") and the fact that he was being held against his free will. I got that whole song and dance about how they can hold a person for up to 5 working days after they sign the paperwork requesting release. I explained all inconsistencies the best I could and she promised me she would look into it and call me in the morning. Thursday evening I talked to Marc and he told me the staff had told him if he didn't withdraw the release forms he signed and put in new ones so they could hold him until at least the 15th of October that they would take him before a judge and he would be involuntarily committed. I told him I had spoken to the administrator and he shouldn't sign ANYTHING until he heard from me the next day. I waited all Friday morning for the administrator to call. She had promised me she would review Marc's case and call me in the morning. Marc had spoken to his mom and told her around 10:30 am Friday morning they had basically scared him into signing the papers they wanted signed. He said they had built all of it up so that he felt they would make him stay 60 to 90 days if he didn't do what they wanted him to. Basically they scared him into signing. I tried calling the administrator's office around 11:00 am and was told she was still down there looking at Marc's chart. Around 12:00 pm Kelly and I hopped in the car and began our drive down. She wanted her son out. The administrator called me as we were driving and began telling me she had reviewed the case. She said that they couldn't discharge Marc because of the nature of the threats made. I told her we were on our way down and would need to speak with somebody because Kelly wanted her son out now. So, we got down there and had to wait about an hour until people could be assembled to talk to us. We talked to the partial assembly of the treatment team (I know they were not all present as “Kate” wasn't there and she is part of his treatment team). We got a lot of evasive answers to our questions and I had to politely interrupt what the psychologist was saying to interject that Kelly has asked a question that hasn't been answered. It was an easy Yes or No question and she never did answer it until I asked it again because she began to ramble again. Kelly asked "Is my son here voluntarily?" Should be an easy answer. The thing we have found out about the mental health system in all of this is that they are a law unto themselves. They can hold you without due process against your will indefinitely if they do it right. And it's almost impossible to prove coercion because lots of judges won't take the word of somebody if he or she is "crazy". So anyway, after a fruitless meeting in which the doctor kind of rambled on apparently trying to explain himself but actually presenting what I felt to be circular logic (Kelly couldn't understand him at all because his accent was so thick, I DID understand him because in my youth I had a close friend from India) and was as non-committal as possible on when Marc might be able to leave, we went to see Marc. We visited with him for a while and then went to leave. When we were going to leave I retrieved a small jar of dirt I had brought with me. They had locked it into a locker for me. I asked if I could give it to Marc. Now, you have to understand, Marc is Wiccan and for him this dirt was a symbol of home. Weird, yes, but I don't make fun of your beliefs now do I? They expressed concern about the glass it was in, so I said I'd put it in plastic and bring it back the next day. Nobody told me I couldn't. I stated it loudly and clearly that I would put it in a baggie or something and bring it back. One of the guys they call "technicians" was the person standing next to me who had raised the concern about it being in glass. His name is “Dumba$$”. This guy has fairly bristled hostility at me since I began visiting Marc. I have never been anything but polite and jovial in his presence. On Saturday I went to visit Marc and left the dirt in the baggie in a locker. The nurse who let me in told me it was contraband. I was like I don't know what you are talking about but they didn't seem to think there was a problem with me bringing dirt yesterday. So she went on to tell me if it wasn't prepackaged like from the store or whatever I couldn't bring it in as it might have drugs in it. I was like ok, whatever. I did tell her the guy who signed me out the day before didn't seem to think it would be a problem. So, it was locked up and I began my visit with Marc. That should have been the end of it, right? Nope. “Dumba$$”, about halfway thru my visit - approximately 3:15- got security down to the floor and drug me out into the hall to have security tell me I can't have dirt and Marc can't have dirt that it's contraband. At this point I began to get really mad. I hadn't raised a fuss with the first nurse and then they drag me out into the hall to lecture me on this. I told them I felt it was a denial of Marc's religious freedom but fine, I wouldn't try to give him the dirt. Well, “Dumba$$” didn't want to just let it go. He was saying in front of security that he never said I could have dirt on me to bring to Marc and was trying to say he had told me I couldn't bring it back, which was a lie. He didn't say a word about it, only bringing up the concern that it was in glass. And as Kelly was standing right there I have a witness. Well, I told him if I shouldn't have brought it he should have told me yesterday and that I felt it was a denial of Marc’s religious freedom and I would publish the details of this on the web. I asked his name and the security guard's name. I got both then “Dumba$$” began to threaten to sue me for revealing his personal information on the Internet. I didn't back down and said I didn't ask your last name. How many people named “Dumba$$” are there in this county??? How am I violating your personal rights by publishing the details of this online? He tried to get in my face but the security guard got between us. I demanded to speak to his supervisor. “Dumba$$” told me that no, I couldn't speak to his supervisor, it wasn't going to happen. Other people got “Dumba$$” out of the hallway and the security guard, a VERY nice and polite man named “Bill”, asked me if he could do anything for me and I told him I wanted to see “Dumba$$”’s supervisor. He went and retrieved her for me. I spoke to her at length about how “Dumba$$” had treated me and she tried to defend him by saying the man was only doing his job. I told her he wasn't doing his job by threatening me. I told her I didn't want the man near me, and that I wanted his behavior towards me on a report. I also told her that I would be writing all of this out and submitting it to the administrator's office. So, I'm hoping this man will be put on administrative leave at least, and at best fired. He was not doing his job; he was using his position to be hostile towards me and a patient.

Now I am mailing a copy of this via certified mail to the administrator of the hospital. I will, of course, put the names back in. :)

Ok, here resumes the tale of our problems with the Clyde L. Choate Mental Health facility in Anna, IL. After talking to the administrator on Thursday, Thursday evening I talked to Marc and he told me the staff had told him if he didn't withdraw the release forms he signed and put in new ones so they could hold him until at least the 15th of October that they would take him before a judge and he would be involuntarily committed. I told him I had spoken to the administrator and he shouldn't sign ANYTHING until he heard from me the next day. I waited all Friday morning for the administrator to call. She had promised me she would review Marc's case and call me in the morning. Marc had spoken to his mom and told her around 10:30 that morning they had basically scared him into signing the papers they wanted signed. He said they had built all of it up so that he felt they would make him stay 60 to 90 days if he didn't do what they wanted him to. I tried calling the administrator's office around 11:00 am and was told she was still down there looking at Marc's chart. Around 12:00 pm Kelly and I hopped in the car and began our drive down. She wanted her son out. The administrator called me as we were driving and began telling me she had reviewed the case. She said that they couldn't discharge Marc because of the nature of the threats made. I told her we were on our way down and would need to speak with somebody cause Kelly wanted her son out now. So, we got down there and had to wait about an hour until people could be assembled to talk to us. We talked to the partial assembly of the treatment team (I know they were not all present as "Kate" wasn't there and she is part of his treatment team). We got a lot of evasive answers to our questions and I had to politely interrupt what the psychologist was saying to interject that Kelly has asked a question that hasn't been answered. It was an easy Yes or No question and she never did answer it until I asked it again because she began to ramble again. Kelly asked "Is my son here voluntarily?" Should be an easy answer. The thing we have found out about the mental health system in all of this is that they are a law unto themselves. They can hold you without due process against your will indefinitely if they do it right. And it's almost impossible to prove coercion because lots of judges won't take the word of somebody if he or she is "crazy". So anyway, after a fruitless meeting in which the doctor, I'll call him Doc. B., kind of rambled on apparently trying to explain himself but actually presented what I felt to be circular logic (Kelly couldn't understand him at all because his accent was so thick, I DID understand him because in my youth I had a close friend from India) and was as non-committal as possible on when Marc might be able to leave, we went to see Marc. We visited with him for a while and then went to leave. When we were going to leave I retrieved a small jar of dirt I had brought with me. They had locked it into a locker for me. I asked if I could give it to Marc. Now, you have to understand, Marc is Wiccan and for him this dirt was a symbol of home. Weird, yes, but I don't make fun of your beliefs now do I? They expressed concern about the glass it was in, so I said I'd put it in plastic and bring it back the next day. Nobody told me I couldn't. I stated it loudly and clearly that I would put it in a baggie or something and bring it back. One of the guys they call "technicians" was the person standing next to me who had raised the concern about it being in glass. I'll call him Dumba$$. This guy has fairly bristled hostility at me since I began visiting Marc. I have never been anything but polite and jovial in his presence. On Saturday I went to visit Marc and left the dirt in the baggie in a locker. The nurse who let me in told me it was contraband. I was like I don't know what you are talking about but they didn't seem to think there was a problem with me bringing dirt yesterday. So she went on to tell me if it wasn't prepackaged like from the store or whatever I couldn't bring it in as it might have drugs in it. I was like ok, whatever. I did tell her the guy who signed me out the day before didn't seem to think it would be a problem. So, it was locked up and I began my visit with Marc. That should have been the end of it, right? Nope. Dumba$$, about halfway thru my visit - approximately 3:15- got security down to the floor and drug me out into the hall to have security tell me I can't have dirt and Marc can't have dirt that it's contraband. At this point I began to get really mad. I hadn't raised a fuss with the first nurse and then they drag me out into the hall to lecture me on this. I told them I felt it was a denial of Marc's religious freedom but fine, I wouldn't try to give him the dirt. Well, Dumba$$ didn't want to just let it go. He was saying in front of security that he never said I could have dirt on me to bring to Marc and was trying to say he had told me I couldn't bring it back, which was a lie. He didn't say a word about it, only bringing up the concern that it was in glass. And as Kelly was standing right there I have a witness. Well, I told him if I shouldn't have brought it he should have told me yesterday and that I felt it was a denial of his religious freedom and I would publish the details of this on the web. I asked his name and the security guard's name. I got both then Dumba$$ began to threaten to sue me for revealing his personal information on the Internet. I didn't back down and said I didn't ask your last name. How many people named ***** are there in this county??? How am I violating your personal rights by publishing the details of this online? He tried to get in my face but the security guard got between us. I demanded to speak to his supervisor. He told me that no, I couldn't speak to his supervisor, it wasn't going to happen. Other people got Dumba$$ out of the hallway and the security guard, a VERY nice and polite man, asked me if he could do anything for me and I told him I wanted to see Dumba$$'s supervisor. He went and retrieved her for me. I spoke to her at length about hos Dumba$$ treated me and she tried to defend him by saying the man was only doing his job. I told her he wasn't doing his job by threatening me. I told her I didn't want the man near me, and that I wanted his behaviour towards me on a report. I also told her that I would be writing all of this out and submitting it to the administrator's office. So, I'm hoping this man will be put on administrative leave at least, and at best fired. He was not doing his job, he was using his position to be a jerk towards me and a patient. He seemed to me to be an obvious victim of a condition called MicroPenis. Yes, this is a physical condition that causes a mental condition. Men with this condition tend to have severe self esteem issues which I find to be translated into hostility towards any female who they feel is not properly subservient to their male authority. I could be wrong, since I've not seen it to even know if he has a penis... Anyway, I will be hand delivering a letter to the administrator's office, not on Monday because it's Columbus day(which is stupid, only schools have that say off) but on Tuesday, the next working day. We shall see what happens.

Have you ever hit a point where you have taken all you can and can't handle any more? I hit that point this afternoon. I basically exploded with anger. I didn't scream or threaten to kill anyone tho. Suffice it to say it's been a long week. Marc is still in the hospital and our efforts to get him out have come to nothing so far. He is currently incarcerated in the Clyde L Choate Mental Health facility in Anna, IL. The problems started last Friday morning, September 28th. When Marc was admitted there, he requested the forms to sign himself out. He was denied this request by staff. From what we understand, he was voluntarily admitted there, so for them to deny him the paperwork constitutes a violation of his rights. On Tuesday I got a call from his case manager. I'll call her Kate. Kate and I were discussing the written and signed statements made by me and Kelly. I, at one point, told Kate that I would do whatever it takes to get Marc out of there. She jumped right on that and asked if I was going to break him out. I actually sputtered into the phone. Most people don't make the mistake of assuming I'm stupid. In fact, I informed her that I was not only not stupid but I was also not one of the patients. I did tell her to warn the staff that a large angry woman would be down Wednesday. Kate apparently can't take proper notes and wrote down that I said a large angry woman (me) would be down to get Marc. I NEVER stated I was going to break Marc out. When I came to visit on Wednesday, they got a security guard to wand me. The ONLY time I've been wanded since I've been visiting. I made the comment that Kate must have warned them I was going to be there. The flat out lied to my face and claimed they ALWAYS do that to visitors. Nice treatment of the public, eh? Then, during our visit, Marc told me he was told by staff (whose names he can't remember because they have changed all his meds and he's walking around in a somewhat incoherent fog) that I was making matters worse for him by making threats and it was going to end up prolonging his stay. I was furious. I had made phone calls all day Tuesday and Wednesday, trying to talk to somebody to get this kid out. Nobody wanted to return my call until Thursday afternoon. Kate called back (she is apparently on Marc's treatment team), and I told her about the problems and inconsistencies. That's when I found out she can't take notes and had turned my statement about a large angry woman coming down into me coming to break Marc out. Makes you wonder how these people graduate college, doesn't it? So, then about an hour or so after I get a call from Kate, I get a call back from the Administrator's office. I had left messages with everyone and finally was getting some returned calls. I discussed the intimidation (because of my so called "threat") and the fact that he was being held against his free will. I got that whole song and dance about how they can hold a person for up to 5 working days after they sign the paperwork requesting release. I explained all inconsistencies the best I could and she promised me she would look into it and call me in the morning. Here the tale stops cause I'm tired and almost asleep at the puter. I'll bring everything up to speed tomorrow.