I am going to the visitation for Kelly Hays tonight. Her funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately it will be while I'm picking Nina up at the St Louis airport. It just doesn't seem fair to me that she's gone. How I can still live and she's dead I don't understand. I wish I could have traded places with her. She didn't deserve all that pain and suffering, slowly dying of cancer. It wasn't right.

I will be in town until Wednesday afternoon, at which time I'm going back out into the woods. No wifi, no cell. I just wish I could feel ok about being alive.