Is it me or is it you?

 I've been thinking about this for a while now. I've had people tell me, not straight out mind you but made it clear to me that my presence just my presence, it got to the point where they couldn't stand it. I don't know if it's me or if it was them. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know. When somebody cuts you out of their life suddenly with absolutely no warning, is that me or is that them? I don't know. I had this happen to me with a person I thought was my good friend. No warning just all the sudden I can't be around you anymore. My brother also did this to me. I was staying at his house. For whatever reason despite the fact that I avoided even being in his presence he wasn't tolerating the fact that I was staying in his basement.  He would start screaming at his wife at night about it.  At first I didn't understand what was going on. And the shitty part is that I can't even count the times over the years when I'd pick him up and take him to the hospital or give him a place to sleep.  He never said to me he couldn't deal with my mere presence. It was glaringly obvious.  I have very little self worth at this point.  This happened a few years ago when I was homeless.  I should feel that it wasn't me but it was them. But how is a person supposed to feel about themselves when their presence alone inspires anger?  Yes, both my brother and the former friend had mental health problems.  I should know it wasn't me but I don't.