Emotional Exhaustion

I slept all day today. It's been a real struggle dealing with my emotions since my dad's death. I don't know how to feel some days. Overwhelmed at trying to identify and catalog his equipment, anxiety over trying to figure out how to sell some of this stuff, a feeling of being alone like I've never known since my dad was one of the only people who ever understood me and a bit of envy that he's gotten to leave his failing body. I don't cry in front of my mom. I don't want to upset her any more than she's already upset. Trying to keep a handle on all this is taking it's toll on me. I'm exhausted all the time but I don't sleep well. I've been having really weird dreams too. I just don't know what's going to happen. Am I going to collapse? Can I handle my tasks? I have to. Mom knows less about some of the stuff in his office than I do. I know that it's ok to feel how I do but I can't collapse and wallow in my emotions. I have to keep going. I just don't know how long I can.