I Think Too Much

I really hate it when I see something, get excited and want to share it with someone. Then I realize one of three things. Either they are dead and I can't share, or they are not the person I thought they were and am no longer speaking to them, or it's simply something they wouldn't understand. I am not an easy person to understand. I don't see the world they way most people see it. I don't understand hatred, greed, racism, etc. I'm not quite a genius. Close but not quite. And I'm also one of those people who doesn't understand normal people. I feel things very deeply so most of the time I tend to suppress my feelings. I come off as either unemotional or hysterical. And being so much smarter than the average person most of the time if I get excited about something it's not something anyone else I know would understand. Except for maybe my friend Kelly. She's known me long enough to be able to decipher some of the stuff I can get excited about, lol. I miss the people in my life who have passed away. I miss the people in my life who pretended to be something they weren't, but the person they pretended to be - not the person they really were. I'll probably end up not even seeing the new Star Wars movie now. There's not really anybody to go see it with. That makes me sad. I've lost so many people.