Sometimes I wish I would go completely mad. I figure that way the pain in my heart wouldn't be as noticeable. I am tired of being alone, yes I know I shall remain alone. There is no mate, no companion out there for me. I so desperately need somebody to love, who will love me back that when I get cracks in the wall I've tried to build around my heart it comes pouring out in a torrent, overwhelming me. I wish my heart were dead, a dried up useless thing. Then it wouldn't hurt anymore.