It's funny. People don't realize the extent of the depression and pain I hide on a daily basis. It hurts so much to be alone sometimes, but sometimes it hurts to NOT be alone. I realize I am surrounded by people who love me but I still have that old pain, that longing to be close to somebody and I can't find that person who wants to be close to me as well. I run a masquerade that seems like my life. I don't have anybody to share the pain with. All I ever wanted to be was normal. I wanted to be like everyone else. And I can't. Ever. NO matter what. I am so tired of not being able to pretend anymore. I like to pretend to be normal just to fit in for a while but I can't.