I have a headache. Nina's been quite pissy today. I can understand why, but that doesn't mean I like dealing with it. She was upset about some math she had to do and she ended up taking it out on me and mom. I know I will feel better once we get home. We are at mom's house now. I'm kind of delaying going home so she can spend some extra time on the web without having to use my laptop. We don't have Internet out there so the only access she has is using my cell card. It's a dial up through Verizon that's a pcmcia card that is basically a cellular modem. We pay a flat fee for it and it's slow. Slow as in 14.4 slow. The plus side to this is that we could surf the net driving down the highway or sitting at the lake. The down side of this is that it's SLOW. And had I mentioned that it's SLOW? It's very slow. Especially when you are used to dsl or cable. I have found that there's hot spots at the mall in Marion. You can sit in their food court and surf at at least dsl speed, might be faster. I'm thinking about making a web page listing all the hot spots I find in southern Illinois.

I am also thinking about creating a CD of wallpapers I have created and marketing it. It would be nice if I could kind of have a source of income other than my disability. Without the child support my ex-husband isn't paying, it's pretty awful trying to support us. My parents help out and I save cans. Either Nina or myself crush the cans at mom's on a weekly basis and I crunch them at home when I put them in a bag. With aluminum at 70 cents a pound I can usually get around $8 to $10 at the end of the month when I'm brokest. I haven't received any child support from my ex-husband since the middle of October and I'm seriously thinking about hunting him down and hurting him. The Department of Child Support Enforcement is supposed to be working on it, but I'm still waiting. The thing that gets me is that he got mad at me so he decides he doesn't need to pay it anymore. It doesn't even cross his mind that he's harming his daughter. And of course he believes that his daughter hates him because I told her too. He can't see that she is old enough to realize by his actions that he doesn't care about her at all, otherwise he would support her. For the past few years, it's always somebody else's fault with him. It is taking me a long time to realize that none of his bullsh*t was my fault. That's probably why I don't want to date anybody. I don't want to play the head games or deal with the blame for somebody else's inadequacies.