Urg. And I mean that. I really don't like Christmas much. And it's not for the reasons you might think. Mainly it's because I don't have the money to give people the things I want them to have. Weird, eh? It ends up depressing me. I'm bipolar II anyway, and this just makes it worse. Staying at my parent's house is also eroding what little sanity I have left. I think it also depresses me that I'm a giver and I'm usually surrounded by takers. There are those people who take and take and you don't ever get anything back from them, emotionally or materially. That tends to slowly kill a giver. I wish I could stop being a giver, but I haven't managed it yet. Been working on it for years too. :P

In brighter news, my other daughter Blair is now at the stage where she's feeling the baby move. It's a very exciting thing for a pregnant woman. Might seem silly to those of you who have never been pregnant, but this is the stage at which an emotional bond begins to form between the mother and the baby. It's like up to that point it's quite unreal. You know that you are pregnant, but at this stage you can FEEL the life moving around and it becomes all too real. Plus you have the whole hormonal roller coaster, water retention, headaches, backaches, foot aches, weird cravings at 2 am and suddenly the nesting urge kicks in. Well for most of us it does anyway. When I was pregnant with Blair, I decided one night to scrub out all the spots on the carpet in the house I was renting. I worked on it for HOURS. With Nina I took apart the furnace in the mobile home I was renting and cleaned that out. Not everyone gets these urges, but I can tell you at various times I cleaned for days. Since I'm naturally a slob, this was decidedly unusual. I can say I don't miss any of it, lol.